Beard growing has long been an important harvest custom. Each beard is a silent statement to the challenges of harvest faced, and met. The longer and gnarlier the beard, the longer and gnarlier the hours worked. The other day I received what may be the greatest honor in the universe. I was asked to be a judge in the first annual Harvest Beard Invitational by founder Joe Uhr, our DV assistant winemaker and resident genius. After I wiped away the tears, the weight of responsibility descended upon me, and having been a beard aficionado for many years, I realized the importance of this first competition. As in other deeply serious competitions, the criteria for success are rigorous, with points being awarded for:
Overall beardedness (0-10)
Bonus points are awarded for integration into your head of hair. (0-5)
Good luck noble competitors, good luck.